This Carpenter's Talent Takes a WILD Turn!
Diego Todd plays in traffic; Mystery Skateboards is a, well, mystery; King Skateboards gets sloppy; ManRamp auditions, and more.
The definitive weekly ranking and analysis of all the skateboarding and other things online that I cannot stop consuming and how it makes me feel, personally.
Stupid and beautiful
Rank: 1
Mood: 🛹🚗
There's an argument to be made that what makes skateboarding so attractive for both the practitioner and the viewer is how stupid it is. Bear with me. Objectively, skateboarding is a fool's pursuit. Here, ride this piece of wood with wheels, take it off of drops, down handrails, bash it into curbs, fall, injure yourself for the promise of a good time.
It's pointless, skateboarding. We pump meaning into it like a blow-up mattress: it's good exercise, it builds resilience and community, and it fosters creativity, free expression, and whatever else we want to ascribe to it — that's the comfort it offers once it's full of our purpose. It's also, of course, fun. It's often more fun when taken to its extremes. When we challenge ourselves or witness others push previously understood limits. Or when someone does some straight-up dangerous, stupid shit.
Ricky Oyola ollieing out of Love Park into traffic and deftly snaking between speeding cars is about as cool as anything anyone has ever done on a skateboard. It's also not a terribly smart thing to attempt if you enjoy living. It's unclear if the risk was managed or reasoned with; all we know, decades on, is that it is objectively stupid and beautiful as all hell. It requires a grace that exists beyond the grasp of concern for the mortal self. Angelic, in a way, as you threaten yourself with a quick shuffle to the spirit realm.
It's the same strained principle that makes Diego Todd's recent switch-backside-kickflip into such compelling theatre. Did he know the van was gaining on him before attempting that trick in the middle of the street? There's a moment, a flash, where immediately after taking off it looks like Todd clocks it, but commits anyway. That foolishness, that risk, is what makes the clip. The grace with which he executes the trick and makes it through unscathed is divine. A little miracle stuffed into a shoe commercial. How stupid and beautiful is that?
A tragics fate
Rank: -2026
Mood: 👻
What, exactly, would you call the Mystery Skateboards 2026 promo video? Or, for that matter, what is Mystery Skateboards in 2026? Long out of the hands of its original owners at the defunct Black Box label, the brand was acquired by Surplus Distribution in 2014. The Australian company, founded by Trevor Ward and Steve McInnes in 2013, also owned Theeve Trucks, Ramshakle Skateboards, and Hype Skateboards. According to a 12-year-old press release, Surplus' head office was in Oceanside, California, with a "satellite office in Geelong, Australia."
From what's available online, Theeve, Ramshakle, and Hype appear to no longer exist (although Luis de los Reyes, otherwise known as "Moose," tags Theeve in recent Instagram posts as a sponsor). Surplus itself is a bit of a mystery, with the majority of its former employees listed on LinkedIn as having exited the company in 2022 or earlier. Its website lapsed and socials have been quiet since 2020. However, "Surplus Distribution Pty Ltd" is still named as Mystery's parent company on the brand's privacy policy webpage. The site's about page describes its current ownership as vaguely as possible.
Mystery Skateboards was established by professional skateboarder Jamie Thomas in 2003. It is now proudly owned and operated by a collective of professional and amateur skateboarding enthusiasts (and tragics) whose mission includes ensuring the iconic brand lives on.
I emailed the available Surplus contact address for clarification and have not heard back. The last available Wayback Machine capture of the Surplus website from 2020 shows a farewell statement of sorts.
Surplus Distribution was created in 2011 as an umbrella company with two main objectives; to ensure the survival of iconic skateboarding brands facing economic uncertainty, and to help support emerging brands by acting as a distribution channel, among other things, through which they could grow and thrive.
Our mission moving forward is the same. However, now that our initial objectives have been successful, the Surplus name will retreat into the background so that the brands we represent so proudly can evolve independently according to their own vision and purpose.
As a result there will no longer be a Surplus online store. Instead, just select your desired brand icon above or below and you will be taken directly to their website. The Surplus social network channels will remain active as they still serve to proudly promote our brands and skateboarding in general.
Finally, we thank the worldwide skateboarding community for their unwavering loyalty and support for helping us grow skateboarding in the minds of all.
Given the shambling state of the Mystery brand and its latest promo, which is a tortured homage to the original Mystery promo featured in Zero Skateboards' New Blood (2005), Moby soundtrack and all, it's not unfair to say that those objectives were not achieved.
Like the mess that has been and continues to be the zombie-fication of Lakai Footwear, and the abysmal track record of anyone who has tried to reanimate a dead/acquired brand (Blueprint, Zoo York, et al.), there is a cruelty in stringing these licenses along, tarnishing whatever legacy the brand had and whatever dregs remained. The lone kindness, if it can be called that, is giving a platform to skateboarders like Jeff DeChesare and Moose, lifelong strivers who have been unable to find backers elsewhere.
Are they a part of the "collective of professional and amateur skateboarding enthusiasts... ensuring the iconic brand lives on"? Also, at the risk of cruelty, was the brand ever iconic? Why not start a new brand, one that isn't tied to the past and a memory so far out of step with the present. Because Mystery Skateboards in 2026 feels far more for the "tragics" than anything else.
Slopcussion
Rank: ...
Mood: 🤖🤔🤢
Marcos Montoya is an incredible on-board talent. He skates with speed, power, style, and pretty much any other superlative you may want to tack on. He now skates for Tyshawn Jones' King Skateboards, a roster addition announced via a pair of social media exclusive clips this week. The second of which is your traditional intro clip: a brief, potent display of high-level skateboarding.
The first, posted over the weekend, begins with Montoya hitting his head while attempting a trick down a set of stairs. Likely a nod to Arto Saari's part in Flip Skateboards' Sorry, that concussive blow brings us into an animated world where Montoya hangs with and gets initiated into the King Skateboards crew. Conceptually, it's corny, but harmless and even charming in its swing at doing something different in an effort to highlight Montoya beyond the norm, something he certainly deserves.
However, hackles were raised, my own included, upon first seeing those animations. They're digital, stilted, and uncanny in the way people increasingly identify as "AI slop." The Instagram comment section of the post is littered with slopvectives.
Is it AI slop, though?
The spot, directed by Medet Shayakhmetov with visual effects by Joao Rosa, appears to use some type of rotoscope technique, judging by Shayakhmetov's own Instagram post showing the real-life shots the digital ones in the commercial are based on, making it unlikely that it's a straight-up generative AI production. That doesn't mean that "AI" tools weren't used in the production, but there's also a general definitional blurring of what AI means now. VFX programs like EbSynth help automate rotoscopy, but as their website explains, "The propagation of keyframes across the timeline doesn't use AI. It's a texture-synthesis algorithm that only uses your video and keyframes to produce the final result, it doesn't use generative models trained on external datasets."
Still, people are, rightfully, exhausted and angry at the proliferation of AI-generated slop, and are unsurprisingly suspicious of what comes across their screens and feeds, as King's comment section attests. Why wouldn't they be? Last week, Netflix revealed that they've used generative AI tools in hundreds of productions already this year. Whether or not something is pure slop is almost besides the point now, which is another danger in the widespread adoption of this technology: can a person believe in what they're seeing? It not only devalues art and artists, but also our shared consensus of reality.
If that King ad animation style and directorial approach looks familiar, it's because Shayakhmetov and Rosa are both veterans of EDGLRD, filmmaker Harmony Korine's "digital-IP agency" with a generally reviled skateboard brand attached. Shayakhmetov's IMDb describes him as a former "lead creative and director of visuals" at EDGLRD while Rosa is a co-founder.
Cole Nowicki
So maybe not "slop" but definitely a little "ugh."
This Carpenter's Talent Takes a WILD Turn!
Rank: 3
Mood: 🔨🪵✝️
That's the title given to ManRamp and the Worble crew's "audition" on America's Got Talent, which was uploaded to YouTube this week and is truly fantastic.
Unfortunately, I can't stop thinking that it also sounds like a clickbait headline about the crucifixion of Jesus Christ — and You Will Not BELIEVE What Happened Three Days Later.
Just one more thing: Love a good Mystery? Consider becoming a paid subscriber. Nothing on Simple Magic is behind a paywall, but your money will get you stickers, swag, and go towards paying contributors for their great work, as well as put some dough in my pocket as I write these each week. You can also leave a one-time tip.
Columbo's son Bolonco in the Lupin III episode "The Skateboard Murder Mystery"
Something to consider:
Good thing:
Josh Sabini
Another good thing:
Katie Heindl
Good pod and part:
Good book thing:
Until next week… trying going faster and waxing it.
Laser Quit Smoking Massage
NEWEST PRESS
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A collection of essays that I think you might like. The Edmonton Journal called it a "local book set to make a mark in 2024," The CBC said it's "quirky yet insightful" (lol), and it won Trade Non-Fiction Book of the Year at the 2025 Alberta Book Publishing Awards.
Book cover by Hiller Goodspeed.
Right, Down + Circle
ECW PRESS
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I wrote a book about the history and cultural impact of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater that you can find at your local bookshop or order online now. I think you might like this one, too.
Photo via The Palomino.
